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Tuesday, December 20, 2011

wrap that shit like you're giving it to martha stewart herself.

so you have spent every penny out of your bank account (and your significant others), maxed out your credit cards and pulled out the money you keep under your mattress. you have a present for everyone you know and their cat, and now you just need to wrap all this crap up. normally a job that isn't necessarily considered "fun", wrapping presents, whether for christmas, birthdays or special occasions, is my favourite part of giving someone a gift. i love when the outside is a reflection of how good the inside is going to be, and when the person you give it to appreciates that and takes the time to open the gift like a sane person without rabies. however i do not love when the wrapping goes totally unnoticed, and he tears that shit apart like it's a bag of chips and he hasn't ate since april and it's the last bag of cool ranch doritos ever made (paul). despite this i keep wrapping my gifts as if i were giving one to martha stewart herself. or oprah. i feel she appreciates these superfluous things as well.

this sunday, while watching 'home alone 2' (which i finally decided is funnier than the first 'home alone') and 'it's a wonderful life' (which i decided is not my favourite) i wrapped four gifts. yes. a whopping four. i took a catnap in between and stopped for a couple pickle breaks, but other than that, i was working away like i was employed at the gift wrapping kiosk in the mall. i had a whole bunch of crap i have collected over the years that i used up; pine cones, twine, paper, sheet music from an old songbook and some fresh greens left over from my outdoor urns. with each person i was giving the gift to in mind, i put a lot of love, two sided tape and 'fucking fuck's' into every present i wrapped. depending on your style and taste, you could use just about anything to jazz up your gifts. start with choosing a wrapping paper you really love, and add your details to compliment the paper. this doesn't mean it has to be matchy-matchy, an eclectic mix is usually the nicest. add some natural elements and you'll pull together something fresh and interesting. promise. these are some of my favourites.
 if you have the time to find your inner martha this year, i promise the effort is worth the look on your loved one's face when you hand them something you wrapped especially for them. or maybe, you'll get the same response i got from paul's auntie kathie the first year we dated and i arrived at their christmas day dinner with a tin of cookies i had baked and decorated, and wrapped with a satin bow on top:

"oh amanda. get a life".

i knew i was a part of the family that very moment.


  1. The gift's that arrived from BC today from Candice look somewhat similar Amanda. Oh and I appreciate it allot. Just don't have that kind of talent in this Rietveld body. Happy ho ho..Auntie Sylvia

  2. Amaaaaze!! Oh I love what you've done to those. Massive appeal. And you can be sure that if I recieved one of those, I'd be forced to leave it unopened for quite a bit.

  3. I also wrap all my gifts with "Love" and by love I mean stag shop bags and crumpled sheets of personal adds from the back of various mens magazines


  4. Auntie Sylvia! You have the talent, just drink a bottle of red wine and you can work miracles ;)

    Hannah no way! You'd be ripping that bad boy open like you were 8 years old!

    And WPC. I want a gift from you. Reveal yourself!


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