sayonara 2011. it's been a slice.

saying goodbye to a year has never felt so bittersweet.

usually i am gung ho when it comes to celebrating a new year. for me, it's a great excuse to get dressed up, spend time with friends, maybe enjoy a swanky meal and seal the deal with a champagne midnight kiss. sure you feel nostalgic and reflect on some of the things that made the year a good one. maybe there are things you wished never happened, things you wish you could take back--do over, try again and really get it right. but i guess that's why they say you live and you learn; without the bad, there can't be any good. 
well there can, but life just doesn't work that way. which really blows.

however this year, i am hesitant. i'm taking baby steps towards it, as if it's an avoidable day that i can just scoot around and be on to the next. maybe 2012 can just be an extension of 2011? will cheques still be valid if i throw a "2011" in brackets next to the date? if i use last year's calendar and just correct the day of the week for each month, can i still hang on to a year i am not ready to let go of? ps-that's totally the dutch in me coming out. my old man did this for years until i started buying him a calendar for christmas and forced him to get rid of the old one. i guess i just can't wrap my little head around the thought: how can 2012 ever top 2011? ok, top may be an overstatement, how can it ever even come close to it. play on the same team? work the same shift? take the same bus? i just don't think it's possible, it can't be.

this was the best year of my life.

this was the year i learned the most about myself, and more than that, who i want to be. a year that taught me how to pick my battles wisely, admit when i am wrong, learn from those around me and appreciate every opportunity i am given. i married the sweetest man i have ever known, and was able to share it with my family and friends. developed a stronger relationship and even better friendship with my parents and brother. visited and fell in love with the most beautiful country on earth, which in turn made me fall in love with food and cooking, especially with paul. i saw some of my closest friends get married to wonderful men, and others become engaged, turned my house into more of my home, learned how to give myself a proper manicure, discovered the freedom of not letting things get to me and the respect i have for someone who goes after their dreams with reckless abandon.

this was the best year of my life.

while planning this post i learned something else. for everything i am so proud of seeing and experiencing in the last year to not have been in vain, i need to welcome the year ahead with open arms. grab it by the balls and take it for all it's worth. this doesn't mean that all i love about 2011 is forgotten, or never happened, it means it can't be taken away from me, it's mine. 2012 will be whatever i make it to be, 
and that's some pretty sick shit.
happy new years. to you and yours.

{image found here}