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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

the results are in: we are fucked.

for the good of my health; i vent.

6 months ago i shared that we are on the hunt for our foreverpermanent, not-moving-again unless it's into a victorian mansion on an acre of land with a wraparound porch and stained glass in every window home, and since then, i have given a valiant effort on the hunt front. we creep mls on the daily, get new listing results via email from our real estate agent/very good friend/curly headed fuck like clockwork, and have even attended a few open houses and some private viewings--all to no avail.

honestly (and i can't believe i am going to admit this), but i have liked 3 out of the 857,106,72 homes we have looked at/been in/considered perfect from afar, and when i say like, i mean don't hate with every fiber of my being. and surprise fucking surprise, they have all been waaaaaaay over budget, in neighbourhoods and on streets we could never afford, not even if paulie was the ceo of go transit. the worst part is, every time i click clack my search info into the fields of that damn mls search (i could do this with my eyes crossed and closed, while sleeping and shit face drunk) i can't help but scroll that price range max all the way to $300,000, $400,000 who am i kidding $900,000, and then sit back to drool all over myself, all the while cursing every rich bastard who owns the kind of dream home i want 
more than anything.

it's a discouraging process, finding a dream home, and i give kudos and high fives and "fuck yeahs" to anyone who has been able to do it, within a reasonable length of time, on a budget and with hair on your head at the end of it all. we purchased our current home when we were 22 years old, and the stress i thought i was under then, doesn't pale in comparison to the anxiety that takes over me when i think about doing it again.  why all the humming and ha-ing and inability to make a decision? why do i snub my nose up at every house that scans through the never ending list of 'for sales' in the niagara region?

the biggest reason, and i have almost convinced myself of this, is that the right home hasn't been put up for sale yet. i know that the chances of finding our dream home in the exact condition we want it to be, is slim to none. what i refuse to believe, is that something like it, a lot like it, isn't out there. when it finally presents itself, we will know. i will most likely know from the listing alone that it's the one. stepping foot in it will confirm that, and we will all live happily ever after. right?

maybe (yes. this totally is the reasonpart of me still doesn't want to believe we will leave our home. our real estate agent/very good friend/curly headed fuck has been forewarned that when the day comes that we have to put our house up for sale, there will be no sign going up on our front lawn. there is no way in hell that i'm going to let every dirt bag in town know that my house is for sale, leaving it open to the general population to visit during open houses, just because they are "nosey" or "curious". which obviously is the number one reason i go to open houses, but come on, i'm not a dirt bag. i'm more of a dirtball. i also hate the idea of turning the corner onto my street every day, and seeing that sign, staring me in the heart, constantly reminding me that it's only a matter of time before i'm packing my shit and leaving. 
for good.

the search continues. i hate being a grown up.


  1. My advice? It's really scary to look for houses before selling your own. There are so many factors that could lead you to find your dream home only to have trouble selling your current home. Case in point: Kelly and put our house up for sale but it was going slowly. Nevertheless we started looking at homes while we waited and of course found what we thought was the perfect house.

    Flash forward a month later and we're finally selling our house, only to find out this 'dream home' had been sold. We were upset but figured we would find something else. So we looked, and looked, and looked for a while and didn't find anything remotely nice that we liked.

    Then, one day our real estate agent (thank god for him) suggested an area we hadn't previously looked in at a house he thought we'd like. BAM there it was from the second we walked in the door - it was our dream home, and still is.

    Sure, we made some compromises (one less bedroom, a little further outside of the city than we wanted to live) but in the end it all worked out beautifully. We love the neighbourhood, they've built up stores in walking distance all around us, and now we can't image leaving.

    So...moral of the story: it will happen for you so have faith :) xo

    1. Renee! You are not the only one telling us to put our house up for sale before we fall in love with something we might not get--it's wise and obvious. My issue with that--if we have searched 6 months without finding something we would even consider, never mind something we love, what would we do if we sold before we found the one? Would we live on the street? Lug our animals and all our shit into an apartment, only to move it again? Neither of these are options. I can't even fathom the stress if either of these were what we had to do. When we find the perfect house, we will put ours up for sale. And if we lose that perfect house, it wasn't meant to be. And I'm ok with that.

      I'm glad you and Kelly are so in love! It looks and sounds like a dream home for sure :) Lucky ladies you are :) Thanks for the love. xoxo

    2. Haha yeah good point. I figured that you were having trouble finding anyway...I hope it all works out for you and I'm SURE it will :) We lived in Kelly's brothers spare room which was about the size of a bathtub with our two cats for two weeks while we waited to move into this place, so I get not wanting to do it - it was hell! Although, totally worth it in the end.

      Like I said - it'll happen :) xo

  2. I cannot wait until we can look for a house. I know it will be hard to find a house but I'm pretty sure we'll be looking for a starter house first. I'm sure it would be hard to live in a house that you love for a while and then look for something else, even if you are looking for your dream home. It would be hard. I think I would be picky too.
    I'm sure you will find something that will make you both happy and it will be the perfect house for your family. It will come.

  3. hahahaahaha Amanda, I have no house advice. My only advice is keep writing because one day Ellen WILL discover you, you will be her right hand man(?) and you and your real estate agent/very good friend/curly headed fuck will have a larger budget, turning him into your real estate agent/very good friend/curly headed fuck/ beautiful house finding God. I await that post with great anticipation! This was hilarious to read!

    1. Please, stop being so cute, I can't handle it. I hope you are right about everything, especially the Ellen part. That would be fucking great. xo

  4. Being a grown up is a pain in the flaming arse. I hate being responsible for leaks in the laundry & the endless pile of bills... fees... insurance premiums... DADDDY??!!

    I think your CURRENT house is the bomb, and I would totally squat there forever. I can imagine your pain when you have to leave it to someone else... But HOPEFULLY the new joint will be so magnificent (& affordable) that you'll completely forget any other houses even exist.

    Happy house hunting!


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