a year in review: for what it's worth.

exactly one year ago today, i sat on this very couch, probably drinking coffee out of the exact same mug, and began this fulfilling journey of documenting and sharing the things that make me the most happy, inspired and proud -- things that have forced me to reflect, learn and strive for, things i never would have accomplished had i not created a place to call my own and just let all the shit out. it has become a reflection of myself (not all of me, but a good amount) and a tool to guide me into the girl i hope to one day be -- it has opened not only my eyes, but also my  heart to the joy of accomplishing what i can, and letting go of what i can't. this space is a visual representation of the way this last year has changed me, and that means more to me than i ever expected it to.

a few months back, i shared the lessons i have learned through writing, and how i can see myself slowy but surely learning the value of having the power to choose what i will and will not allow to affect me. of course i still have my moments breakdowns and lapses in judgement, but i have solid influences in my life and am trying my best to use them to my advantage, to stand up to myself and the times where i am pulled down, so i can get back up, pick my balls up off the ground, and move the fuck on. the reward in that also came as a surprise, like an added bonus, like the four maraschino cherries at the bottom of my double white russian.

cheese aside, i spent the last few days looking back on some of my favourite posts, adventures and the life lessons that inevitably come from each of those experiences. from getting organized to embracing what is around me exactly when it's before me, i am proud to see what something like this little corner of the internets has done for an ordinary girl with some extraordinary goals, hopes and dreams; when physically removing yourself from welland isn't a viable option, it's only a click away to put yourself into this great big world, and i plan to do just that until it's no longer something that makes me as happy as it does.

a few lessons i didn't intend or expect to learn:

writing a blog requires some level of computer knowledge. before starting this i knew how to use ms paint, a word document and photo booth on a mac like it was my job. since then i have learned how to write very basic code, edit without losing every fucking thing i ever posted, and the miracle that is googling anything. any.thing.

just when i think i know what i'm doing, i'm reminded i haven't a damn clue.

trying to be like everyone else never works; i love what i love and i swear like a trucker because i like to and don't give a rats ass if that makes me appear less educated, classless or worthy of living in the ghetto i do. "you either like me or you don't. it took me twenty-something years to learn to love myself, i don't have that kinda time to convince somebody else." --daniel franzese

it doesn't matter if a million people read what i put out there, or if it never meets the eyes of another soul, this is for me, and i like what i see.