i currently feel like i have woken from a five year coma, to finally open my eyes and be told:
"hey there sleeping beauty, nice to see you're awake! now go on and figure out your whole damn life. annnnnnd go."
like, the fuck?
today marks day one of this new phase in my life, and i'm not exactly sure how i feel about it. i've tricked part of me into thinking i'm only on vacation and will be going back to work in no time, while another part of me knows full well that these days are just the first lines of the first paragraphs sprawled across the first pages of this exciting chapter in my life. to be honest i have only had one severely dramatic/italian mental breakdown, and that was while minding my own business washing dishes one night last week. some of the wiring that holds my far-too-full brain together shorted, and i pretty much exploded all over the kitchen. paulie was lucky enough to be front and center for what i'm positive looked like a combination of an always entertaining over-performance by celine dion/how i sound when the sarah mclachlan spca commercial comes on and that effing 'in the arms of the angel' song of hers plays in the background and my tear ducts work overdrive until they threaten to dry out, shrivel up and fall off. so, rather than stress myself bald over what i don't know, i am going to focus on what i do know, and rejoice in the fact that i am not a complete and utter write off.
things i do know:
*a fresh pot of french pressed coffee first thing in the morning is worth the work.
*taking the pooch for a walk every afternoon makes her happy enough to in-turn make me happy enough.
*watering my plants has become a weird, guilty pleasure.
*writing "to-do" lists is key to feeling required.
*crossing off "to-do" lists is even more key.
*having supportive friends & family to lean on takes the worry and fear out of everything.
things i do not know:
*everything else. seriously, i know nothing else.